Script for Monolith Vohaul

Description: During his early teens, Vohaul was working as supervisor at a Monolith Burger.
While he was probably somewhat traumatised by being sold off to research by his parents, he was still a nice kid at this point, if a little awkward and naive.
It is worth to note that he loved this particular job and it came as a blow when he was fired.

Dialog: dVohTeen

[VOH31] Monolith Vohaul: Welcome to Monolith Burger, home of the Arterial Clogger. May I take your order?

Roger: Your next customer is going to want a Mini and all you've got is a Jumbo. You should order one up right away.
[VOH32] Monolith Vohaul: Don't worry. When a customer wants something, I'll just ring up Steve in the back. I trust him.

Roger: Why aren't the Space Spuds salted?
[VOH33] Monolith Vohaul: The pot's out of salt.
Roger: Don't we have any more salt?
[VOH34] Monolith Vohaul: Yeah. It's in the stockroom of course, but I can't leave the tills to go and get it. Don't worry, though - Charbie should be able to get it after his break.

Roger: Why is the Tango© flat?
[VOH35] Monolith Vohaul: The Tango© isn't flat! We just hooked up a new CO2 tank!
Roger: Maybe you should turn it on?
[VOH36] Monolith Vohaul: I'm pretty sure it's already on. Charbie said he installed it himself.

Roger: Why aren't you serving MonoFlairy's?
[VOH37] Monolith Vohaul: The machine is broken.
Roger: Why haven't you fixed it?
[VOH38] Monolith Vohaul: Steve lost the schematics that are supposed to be posted on the inside of the door. We must be the only Monolith Burger in the universe without them, so we can't do anything with it.

Roger: Aren't you going to clean up that spillage?
[VOH39] Monolith Vohaul: I would, but I can't leave the till. I hope Charbie gets off his break soon.
Roger: How long has he been on break?
[VOH40] Monolith Vohaul: Five hours. He'd better hurry up - his shift is almost over.

Roger: There's a manager on the way who is going to do a surprise review of the store!
[VOH41] Monolith Vohaul: You can't fool me that easily. Customers tell me that every day just to get better service - but I'm already doing my best to make sure their stay is a pleasant one.
Roger: You're quite the model employee!
[VOH42] Monolith Vohaul: If I'm lucky, I could get promoted to assistant manager!

708 - Vohaul's Mind - Monolith Burger

[VOH215] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry, but could you step aside for a moment? I've got a customer.
[VOH31] Monolith Vohaul: Welcome to Monolith Burger, home of the Arterial Clogger. May I take your order? (Duplicate)
Monolith Manager: Yes, I would like a Mini Monolith with a side of Space Spuds and a small Tango©.
Monolith Manager: And perhaps a small MonoFlairy, please.
[VOH216] Monolith Vohaul: Yes sir, I'll get right on it! Your number is 16.
Narrator: You watch as Vohaul rushes about to prepare the customer's meal, then watch the customer hastily gobble it up. He soon returns to the counter.
[VOH217] Monolith Vohaul: Did you enjoy your meal, sir?
Monolith Manager: Are you the head supervisor today?
[VOH218] Monolith Vohaul: Yes, why?
Monolith Manager: I am actually the new regional manager of Monolith Burger in this quadrant.
Monolith Manager: I've come here today to do a surprise review of your store.
[VOH219] Monolith Vohaul: Oh...

Monolith Manager: First off, I asked for a Mini Monolith and was given a Jumbo-sized.
[VOH220] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry. The chef didn't get me your order in time.
Monolith Manager: This is a team effort. I have lots of stores to review today and I can't fill up on Jumbos. Sorry, no marks there.

Monolith Manager: First off, let's start with the Monolith Burger.
Monolith Manager: It was perfectly cooked, well presented, with just the right amount of grease. Full marks!
[VOH221] Monolith Vohaul: Thank you, sir!

Monolith Manager: First off, let's start with the Monolith Burger. You completely forgot to get me one!
[VOH220] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry. The chef didn't get me your order in time. (Duplicate)
Monolith Manager: This is a team effort. Sorry, no marks there.

Monolith Manager: Secondly, the space spuds: no salt. Can't pass you on that, I'm afraid.
[VOH222] Monolith Vohaul: Awww...

Monolith Manager: Secondly, the space spuds: crunchy, and heavily salted. Full marks!
[VOH223] Monolith Vohaul: Excellent!

Monolith Manager: Next, there was the Tango©. It was disgusting and non-carbonated. No marks.
[VOH224] Monolith Vohaul: But we just changed the tank!

Monolith Manager: Next, there was the Tango©. It was disgusting as usual, but at least it had bubbles. Full marks!
[VOH225] Monolith Vohaul: Yes!

Monolith Manager: No marks for the lack of MonoFlairy, of course.
Monolith Manager: I can't believe that the machine is broken on a hot day like this!
[VOH226] Monolith Vohaul: I'm very sorry, sir - so sorry!

Monolith Manager: And one nice, creamy MonoFlairy. Perfect, full marks!
[VOH227] Monolith Vohaul: Phew!

Monolith Manager: Incidentally, there was a huge spill on the floor during my entire meal and not once did anyone clean it up.
Monolith Manager: In fact, I'm standing in it right now.
[VOH228] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry, sir. I couldn't leave the till.
Monolith Manager: No, but it's your job to keep the team on track.

Monolith Manager: Last, but by no means least, the cleanliness.
Monolith Manager: Aside from our trademark 'messy table,' it looks to be excellent, full marks!
[VOH229] Monolith Vohaul: Thanks!

Monolith Manager: An excellent review! In fact, this is probably one of our best restaurants I have ever seen!
Monolith Manager: I'll be certainly mentioning your name to the CEO.
Monolith Manager: And you can bet on an upcoming promotion with a nice six-figure income and a yacht!
[VOH230] Monolith Vohaul: Oh, thank you very much, sir!
Monolith Manager: Somebody get this guy some girlfriends! And for God's sake, somebody grovel at his feet!
Monolith Manager: This man is a GOLDEN GOD of the fast food world!
[VOH231] Monolith Vohaul: Yeah!!!
Roger: I think I triggered a daydream somewhere. Time to get back to the atrium.

Monolith Manager: I'm effectively shutting down this location and firing all the employees, many of whom have families to support.
Monolith Manager: Rest assured that when they're all living off the streets and eating rats for change, they'll forever BLAME YOU.
Monolith Manager: You have ten seconds to evacuate the premises before we bulldoze you all to death.
[VOH232] Monolith Vohaul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roger: Look at this production bin! It's filthy!
[VOH233] Monolith Vohaul: Sir! What are you doing? Stop!
[VOH234] Monolith Vohaul: We can't sell that burger now - we don't want our customers getting sick! Please dispose of it properly!
Roger: Oh, don't worry. I will.

[VOH235] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry, sir, but I'm afraid those burgers are for paying customers only.

[VOH235] Monolith Vohaul: Sorry, sir, but I'm afraid those burgers are for paying customers only. (Duplicate)

718 - Vohaul's Mind - Brain

Roger: Don't worry, guys! I'll get you out of here!
Kid Vohaul: Why does this always happen on my birthday?!
[VOH303] Monolith Vohaul: And I just got promoted!
Beach Vohaul: I don't wanna die a virgin!

Roger: I don't suppose any of you guys want this highly reflective piece of Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass?
Kid Vohaul: No thank you.
[VOH306] Monolith Vohaul: Not in the slightest.
Beach Vohaul: ...I might.
Roger: Yeah, yeah... wait - really?
Beach Vohaul: But only if nobody else wants it.
Roger: Oh, believe me - NOBODY wants this!
Beach Vohaul: Have you asked absolutely everyone?

Roger: Do any of you guys want this mug back?
Kid Vohaul: Ooh! Ooh! Give it here!
[VOH315] Monolith Vohaul: No way! You already spent your whole childhood with it! It's mine!
Beach Vohaul: You idiots! This is not the time to be arguing over a stupid mug!
Beach Vohaul: Besides, it's obviously mine. Otherwise you'll both lose it too when you become me.
Roger: Ah, maybe I'll hold onto it until I get you guys out of there.

Global Script

[VOH57] Monolith Vohaul: Please place your orders at the front.

Roger: Excuse me, but I found this piece of highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass in my food.
[VOH66] Monolith Vohaul: I would hope so. That's this month's toy.

Roger: Does this look familiar?
[VOH67] Monolith Vohaul: Yeah. I have a mug just like that at home. It's my favorite!

[VOH68] Monolith Vohaul: Cash, debit, or credit only, please.