Script for Beach Vohaul

Description: Vohaul during his college years.
While he is still not the most popular guy around, he actually has a girlfriend now and generally seems to be happy enough, though he most certainly has his own inner demons to fight.
Probably sounds like your average young man. Nothing too distinctly "Vohaul" yet.

Dialog: dVohBeach

Roger: Vohaul! Some big guy named Bronze is coming to get you!
[VOH43] Beach Vohaul: Bronze? Bronze doesn't scare me. Can the The Bronze complete the Dungeon of Agroroth with only a +5 Maceblade and come out with double experience points?
Roger: No, but he can probably smash your head in pretty good.
[VOH44] Beach Vohaul: I laugh in the face of trolls like him! Ha ha ha!

Roger: That's a cute chick. You should really ask her out. Like, right now.
[VOH45] Beach Vohaul: Mary Jane? Yeah, she sure is swell. But a hot girl like her would never go out with me. She's probably got a million boyfriends or something.
Roger: Nope. She's single and waiting for you to ask her out.
[VOH46] Beach Vohaul: I don't know... what if I mess up and spit on her or something? And for that matter, who the heck are you and why do you seem so familiar?

Dialog: dVohBeach2

Roger: My name's Roger. I've entered your mind and been messing around in your memories.
[VOH47] Beach Vohaul: You mean none of this is real?! Ooh! Am I on that TV show "Inception'd?"
[VOH48] Beach Vohaul: How many dream layers have we gone down? Am I under sedation? Why isn't Mary Jane a train yet?
[VOH49] Beach Vohaul: Hi, mom! Hi, dad! Look at me! I'm on TV!
Roger: We'll be right back after these messages.

Roger: I'm your guidance counselor. If you don't ask this girl out right now, I will guide your head right into the sand and counsel some sand onto it.
[VOH50] Beach Vohaul: You? Ha! The only advice my guidance counselor ever gave me was not to become a guidance counselor. Besides, I could totally take you, old man.

Roger: My name is Al. I'm a hologram sent back in time to make sure you get the girl.
[VOH51] Beach Vohaul: And what happens if I get the girl?
Roger: Then my mission will be complete and I will be able to make the final leap home.
[VOH52] Beach Vohaul: I'd like to help you out, Al, but I think there's someone else who needs you more than I do.
Roger: Who?
Crab: Al! Finally! You've got to help me! I leaped into a crab's body and now the seagulls are trying to get me!
Roger: Oh, I... ummm...
Crab: Yaaaa! Here they come again!
Roger: I'm sure he'll be fine.

707 - Vohaul's Mind - Beach

[VOH205] Beach Vohaul: Excuse me, I'm with a lady here.
[VOH206] Beach Vohaul: So, gosh, Mary Jane! That homecoming dance is coming up soon, isn't it?
Mary Jane: It totally is! I can't believe no one's asked me out yet!
[VOH207] Beach Vohaul: Yeah, me neither. And you know, I've been meaning to ask you something...
Mary Jane: What is it, Vohaul?
[VOH208] Beach Vohaul: Well, um, gosh... gee, you see, it's... it's like this... errr...
Bronze: Hey, Mary Jane! Why's a hot babe like you wasting your time with this poindexter?
Mary Jane: Oh, hi, Bronze!
Bronze: I've got all the ladies lining up around the block wanting me to take them to homecoming, but I've only got eyes for you. Tell ya what, why don't you dump this nerd and get yourself a real man?
[VOH209] Beach Vohaul: Beat it, Bronze! Can't you see I'm with the lady?
Bronze: Ooh! The nerd is standing up for himself! I think he needs to cool it!

[VOH210] Beach Vohaul: Hey, stop it!
Bronze: As you can see, I am clearly the superior man in this bout. Come on, Mary Jane - let's get out of here before you get nerd germs all over your pretty face.
Mary Jane: Golly, Vohaul - he does raise a valid point. After all, he doesn't have sand in his face.
[VOH211] Beach Vohaul: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bronze: Yeeee-OOOWWWWW!!!!
Mary Jane: Vohaul, that was totally hot how you stood up to that guy!
[VOH212] Beach Vohaul: So as I was saying, how would you like to go to... uh...
Mary Jane: Go to homecoming with you?
[VOH213] Beach Vohaul: Yeah! That's it!
Mary Jane: Sounds great! You know I've always had a thing for nerds, right?
[VOH214] Beach Vohaul: Sweet!
Roger: My work here is done.
Roger: Right - I'll go now.

718 - Vohaul's Mind - Brain

Roger: HEY!
[VOH301] Beach Vohaul: Yo. Over here.

Roger: Don't worry, guys! I'll get you out of here!
Kid Vohaul: Why does this always happen on my birthday?!
Monolith Vohaul: And I just got promoted!
[VOH304] Beach Vohaul: I don't wanna die a virgin!

Roger: I don't suppose any of you guys want this highly reflective piece of Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass?
Kid Vohaul: No thank you.
Monolith Vohaul: Not in the slightest.
[VOH307] Beach Vohaul: ...I might.
Roger: Yeah, yeah... wait - really?
[VOH308] Beach Vohaul: But only if nobody else wants it.
Roger: Oh, believe me - NOBODY wants this!
[VOH309] Beach Vohaul: Have you asked absolutely everyone?

Roger: YES! I've shown it to everyone and everything! Vohaul's goons, the Furkunz, a giant cat...
Roger: I can't be sure, but I think I even died a couple times showing it to people!
Roger: But rest affirmed - absolutely NO ONE wants this piece of glass!
[VOH310] Beach Vohaul: All right... I believe you. I'll take it.
Roger: ...thank you.
Roger: Thank you...
Roger: Oh, THANK YOU!!!
Roger: I'm free! Free at last! Free of the madness!
Evil Stain: Uh, hey - aren't you trying to kill me?
Roger: No... not anymore. At last... I am at peace.
Narrator: Roger Wilco, you finally got rid of that highly reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass! What are you going to do now?!
Roger: I'm going to Disneyland!!!

Roger: Y-- Well, almost everyone.
[VOH311] Beach Vohaul: Almost?
Roger: I may have missed a few.
[VOH312] Beach Vohaul: Then I shall not take it.
Roger: Come on! I'm so close! Are you really gonna make me go back to an older savegame?
[VOH313] Beach Vohaul: I'm afraid so.
Roger: Drat!

Roger: Do any of you guys want this mug back?
Kid Vohaul: Ooh! Ooh! Give it here!
Monolith Vohaul: No way! You already spent your whole childhood with it! It's mine!
[VOH316] Beach Vohaul: You idiots! This is not the time to be arguing over a stupid mug!
[VOH317] Beach Vohaul: Besides, it's obviously mine. Otherwise you'll both lose it too when you become me.
Roger: Ah, maybe I'll hold onto it until I get you guys out of there.

Global Script

[VOH60] Beach Vohaul: My little brother used to have a wagon like that. It disappeared around the time he got his hamster. I remember because it's when he started being nicer to me.
Roger: And not such a stupidhead?
[VOH61] Beach Vohaul: Exactly!

Roger: Hey, buddy. How about some highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass. It'll make you a sure-fire hit with the ladies!
[VOH62] Beach Vohaul: Wow! How does it work?
Roger: ...I don't know.