Description: The mysterious equipment guy of the Furkunz Thieves' Guild. "Rulf" isn't even his real name, but he would never tell you what he is actually called, lest you want him to kill you. Probably speaks in a raspy whisper to conceal his voice.
Roger: Why can't you tell me your real name?
[RULF1]Rulf: Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
Roger: How could someone like you just kill me?
[RULF2]Rulf: If I told you how I'd do it, you'd know to expect it.
Roger: Sure, go ahead. I don't mind being killed.
[RULF4]Rulf: You called my bluff. I don't really know how to kill you.
Roger: Can you tell me your real name then?
[RULF5]Rulf: Well... no.
Roger: Can I guess it?
Roger: You're no fun.
Roger: Nice bar, don't you think?
[RULF7]Rulf: My opinion is classified. Sorry.
Roger: I'm trying to find out who stole the fortress plans.
Roger: Do you know who may have done it?
[RULF8]Rulf: Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you.
Roger: Pardon me, would you have any grey poupon?
[RULF9]Rulf: Hmm... so you're the new guy, huh? Welcome to the guild.
Roger: Phew, finally!
Roger: That wasn't really the easiest of sentences to sneak into a conversation.
[RULF10]Rulf: Yeah, sorry about that... we had to change the code.
[RULF11]Rulf: The old one was 'Schwertfisch' and nobody could pronounce it right.
Roger: That's understandable.
Roger: Hey, about the Thieves' Guild...
Roger: Werg said you might be able to get me some equipment.
[RULF14]Rulf: He did? Hrmpf.
[RULF15]Rulf: He always sends the new recruits over to get equipment from me.
Roger: I thought you didn't have any other new members?
[RULF16]Rulf: That's what I said. 'Always'.
Roger: Right. So, about the equipment...
[RULF17]Rulf: Actually, all I've got is this one lockpick.
[RULF18]Rulf: And it's mine.
Roger: Hmm... couldn't I at least borrow it then?
[RULF19]Rulf: Well... I suppose.
[RULF20]Rulf: I'm just gonna get plastered right now anyway.
[RULF21]Rulf: ...so yeah, here you go.
Roger: So, what kind of stuff have you done so far in the Guild?
[RULF22]Rulf: Well... not a whole lot.
[RULF23]Rulf: There isn't much to steal around here.
Roger: Have you tried the bar?
[RULF24]Rulf: Naw, I've got all the water I need...
[RULF25]Rulf: ...for now.
[RULF26]Rulf: Aside from that, the guild isn't just about the thievery, or stealing...
[RULF27]Rulf: ...it's about belonging somewhere, it's about...
[RULF28]Rulf: ...knowing that you have a place in society and that you're not just a number.
Roger: Hey... you're right.
Roger: Now that I'm a member, I feel so... cherished!
[RULF29]Rulf: Nah, I was just messing with ya, it's all about stealing.
Roger: Now that you can trust me some more, can you tell me your real name without killing me?
Roger: Is it Robert?
Roger: Is it Eric?
[RULF32]Rulf: No! Leave me alone!
Roger: I bet it's Eric.
Roger: Well... that's my Thieves' Guild business out of the way.
[RULF33]Rulf: Okay, now it's back under cover.
[RULF34]Rulf: Act like you don't know who I am.
Roger: ...I don't know who you are.
[RULF35]Rulf: Method acting, huh?
[RULF36]Rulf: Well, whatever works.
Roger: Hey there. I'm Roger Wilco.
[RULF38]Rulf: I can't tell you my real name, but you can call me Rulf.
Roger: Does this piece of highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass mean anything to you?
[RULF39]Rulf: Is it the Maltese highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass?
Roger: Nope. Just a regular highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass.
[RULF40]Rulf: That's too bad. Better luck next time, I suppose.
Roger: Any picking tips?
[RULF41]Rulf: Avoid the nose area.
Roger: Check it out. Almighty Bottle.
[RULF42]Rulf: That's nothing. I've got the Almighty Chip Bag at home.
Roger: Here's some money.
[RULF43]Rulf: No thanks. I'll just steal it off you later.