Script for Random Apeman

Description: A variety of generic apemen are featured throughout the game.
They are your typical military grunts in camouflage uniforms.
One common feature among them is their somewhat lacking intelligence, but in general, feel free to knock yourselves out!

102 - Intro - Apeman HQ

General Forksmith: ...and the plumber says: "Hey, that's not a banana, it's an airplane!"
Berthold: Ha... ha... er... I don't get it...
General Forksmith: You will, Berthold. You will.
General Forksmith: All right. Who threw this?
[APE244] Random Apeman: It... it just came outta nowhere, General Forksmith!
General Forksmith: DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID?! DISKS DON'T JUST COME FRO-- ...wait a minute, what's this?

General Forksmith: YES!
Berthold: What?
General Forksmith: It's the disk!
Berthold: Wait, you don't mean... THE disk?
General Forksmith: The very same!
[APE245] Random Apeman: What disk?
General Forksmith: Haven't you heard?
[APE246] Random Apeman: Heard about what?
General Forksmith: This is the disk we're supposed to use to resurrect master Vohaul!
Berthold: By rebuilding him as a robot!
General Forksmith: We've had the schematics for years. All we needed was his mind.
Berthold: And now we have it! We can bring him back to life!
[APE247] Random Apeman: Are we... sure we want to do this?
General Forksmith: ...what do you mean?
[APE248] Random Apeman: Wasn't he kind of... insane?
[APE249] Random Apeman: I mean, don't you think we've been better off without him?
Berthold: Hmm. It's been pretty boring if you ask me.
General Forksmith: Exactly! We haven't done anything exciting in ages.
Berthold: We need a proper leader!
General Forksmith: And now we're going to build ourselves one!
Berthold: Vohaul will live again!
[APE250] Random Apeman: Ah, what the heck...
Narrator: A few weeks later...

611 - Moon - Base Map

[APE167] Random Apeman: Hey! What's going on here?
[SNTS16] Random Apeman: Look out! He's got a shovel!
Finkle: FOR FREEDOM!!!
[FORK99] Random Apeman: Holy crap! They're everywhere!
Mayor Nurb: Die, simian!
Gofty: Stop, mayor, it's Roger!
Roger: OW!
Mayor Nurb: Oh, sorry.
Odster: Go for the legs!
[APE168] Random Apeman: We need back-up! Repeat! We need back-up!
[SNTS17] Random Apeman: They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the freakin' walls!
[SNTS18] Random Apeman: It's game over, man! Game over!
[COL38] Random Apeman: Oh no, they summoned pterodactyls somehow!
Furkunz Priest: Praise the Bottle!
Finkle: Look out, there's a giant squid with machine guns!
Gofty: This is almost better than a third kick-off!
Finkle: Come on, let's keep moving! We got 'em on the run!

801 - Renegade Outro - Cannon

Ape Colonel: What can I say about Lord Vohaul other than to remember him as he was, and not the horrible monster we turned him into.
Ape Colonel: Alas, to lose such a noble leader is a cruel fate indeed for apekind.
Ape Colonel: And now, a few words from the man to blame for his death. Mr. Wilco?
Roger: I can see some loaded weapons in the room, so I'll make this short.
Roger: I didn't know Vohaul very well.
Roger: In fact, the first time we met, he shipped me off to die on a forsaken jungle planet.
Roger: Long story short, he spent a lot of time trying to kill me, and then he died. That's about it.
General Forksmith: The repairs have been made to your ship. I'd recommend you leave as soon as possible.
Roger: Will you guys get along fine without your leader?
General Forksmith: Ah, we'll be fine. We'll just have to start taking things back into our own hands.
General Forksmith: The Furkunz have returned to their caves but I suspect we haven't seen the last of them.
General Forksmith: It's gonna be difficult to call a truce after all this.
General Forksmith: Not to mention Never Kenezer seems to be missing.
Roger: You let him get away?!
[APE169] Random Apeman: That was my bad. Sorry.
General Forksmith: Beh. Just get out of here.
Ape Colonel: Anyway, it is time...
General Forksmith: Ah, yes.
General Forksmith: Fire the cannon!