Description: Best friend of Gofty. They love playing caveball, are very friendly towards Roger and often have a problem taking things seriously. Their voices should reflect their somewhat silly and carefree nature.
Dialog: dNurb
Roger: What's up?
Gofty: We were just discussing the third kickoff from our last caveball game.
Mayor Nurb: Simians always interrupt when we discuss the third kickoff from our last caveball game.
[ODST1]Odster: No they don't. Now you're just being silly.
Mayor Nurb: Maybe I am, maybe I'm not...
Mayor Nurb: Wait, what were we talking about?
Gofty: Caveball.
Mayor Nurb: Ah, yes. I like caveball.
Gofty: We all do.
[ODST2]Odster: Especially the third kickoff.
Mayor Nurb: Yes. Much better than the fourth.
Gofty: Definitely.
Roger: ...I like pie.
Mayor Nurb: Step off, monkeyboy.
Roger: Why do you hate simians so much?
Roger: I can't see what's wrong with all of us...
Mayor Nurb: Of course you can't!
Mayor Nurb: You occupy the lowest level of evolution, and deservedly so!
[ODST3]Odster: He's got a point there.
Roger: Why?
Roger: Because I'm different?
Roger: Because I like to swing on a tireswing from time to time and indulge in the occasional banana?
Mayor Nurb: Because you are a simian.
Mayor Nurb: This planet was once a paradise, but your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.
Gofty: I'm telling you, there's no convincing old Nurb.
Roger: So what's with the sudden popularity of caveball? Didn't you guys live up on the surface?
[ODST4]Odster: You obviously have no idea of how addictive it is.
[ODST5]Odster: Spreads like fire.
Gofty: Indeed.
Gofty: Nobody stops after they've had their very first third kickoff.
Mayor Nurb: I still remember mine as if it had happened last week.
Gofty: It was last week, actually.
Mayor Nurb: Yes, yes, that's what I said. Or... did I?
Roger: Any idea who may have stolen the plans?
Mayor Nurb: I bet it was you, simian.
Gofty: But the plans were lost long before he got here!
Mayor Nurb: Exactly! It's the perfect crime. Nobody would suspect him.
Mayor Nurb: But you can't fool me THAT easily!
Mayor Nurb: Drop your trousers, simian!
Gofty: Do we have to go over this again?
Mayor Nurb: Sigh...
Mayor Nurb: Fine, keep your trousers on, simian.
Mayor Nurb: But if you cause any trouble, your pants are mine!
[ODST6]Odster: Right...
[ODST7]Odster: Anyway, I don't know for sure, but I suspect it's Merf.
Roger: Pardon me, would you have any grey poupon?
[ODST8]Odster: Ok, seriously, what's the big deal with the grey poupon?
Gofty: Yeah, those two weirdos won't stop asking that.
[ODST9]Odster: Hmm... It's not a classic anecdote, is it?
Roger: Not a classic, no...
Mayor Nurb: Stupid simian, can't even tell a joke properly...
Roger: Hey, I found the plans!
Mayor Nurb: WE FOUND THE THIEF! IT'S THE SIMIAN!
Roger: ...in Merf's hut.
Gofty: Awesome! I knew he had the plans!
[ODST10]Odster: Hey, you think you can break in again and steal us a stereo?
Roger: I'm off. See you guys later.
Gofty: Bye
[ODST11]Odster: Bye
Mayor Nurb: Good riddance.
Dialog: dMerfTalk
Roger: Merf?
Gofty: Yeah, he's the guy who lives in the hut.
Gofty: Rich and arrogant, thinks he's better than the rest of us.
[ODST12]Odster: And he always cheats at caveball.
Mayor Nurb: Yes, he does.
Mayor Nurb: Like a simian.
Mayor Nurb: A simian with no pants.
Mayor Nurb: Why can't anyone else see this adding up?!
[ODST13]Odster: Don't mind him, Roger. He's been like this ever since he missed two third kickoffs in a row.
Roger: If you suspect it's him, why don't you stop him?
[ODST14]Odster: We don't have any evidence.
[ODST15]Odster: He keeps his house locked all the time and won't let anybody in.
Gofty: We tried asking the Thieves' Guild for help, but they keep denying the organisation's existence.
Mayor Nurb: Although everyone knows it's there.
[ODST16]Odster: Yeah... It's supposed to be a secret, but they keep asking everyone to join.
Roger: Tell me more about Merf.
Mayor Nurb: He a snobby, greedy little brat - what more is there to tell?
Gofty: He's been keeping to himself lately, playing with all his fancy new toys.
[ODST17]Odster: Also, he's haunted by the ghost of his former business partner!
Gofty: No, that was us in the bushes last night rattling chains and screaming at his hut.
[ODST18]Odster: Ha ha! He was crying all night!
Mayor Nurb: You two are terrible.
Gofty: Hey, you were there too, 'Mr. Ghost of Furkmas Future.'
Roger: He's afraid of ghosts?
[ODST19]Odster: Oh, sure. Just run at him screaming and waving some glow-sticks under a pillow case, and he'll be wetting his pants in no time.
Roger: Ok, I'll see what I can do.
Mayor Nurb: Ooh, the brave simian hero is going to save us. I am so excited.
[ODST20]Odster: Shut up, Nurb.
304 - Caves - Furkunz Entrance
Gofty: Hey, wake up! Please, Mister Wilco...
[ODST31]Odster: We must get him up, he may be our last hope!
Gofty: I'm trying, but he isn't responding!
Comment: Reference to Borat's "Throw the Jew Down the Well"
Mayor Nurb: Throw the ape down the well!
[ODST32]Odster: Huh?
Mayor Nurb: So our caves can be free!
Gofty: He's not an apeman.
Gofty: And we don't even have a well!
Mayor Nurb: Yes, but...
[ODST33]Odster: Hey, guys! I think he's...
[ODST34]Odster: Yes! He's waking up!
307 - Caves - Furkunz Hall
Gofty: Oh, thank the Bottle! He's alive!
Roger: Wh-where am I?
Finkle: We're terribly sorry, Mister Wilco, we had no idea it was you.
[ODST35]Odster: Yes, we thought you were one of those pesky apemen.
Roger: Why?
[ODST36]Odster: Well, it's just your horrid posture, your tendency to slouch, your...
Roger: I mean... What happened?
Finkle: As soon as we recognized you...
Finkle: ...once again, we are terribly sorry...
[ODST37]Odster: We need to protect ourselves from the apemen and we accidentally attacked you...