Finkle - VSB Voice Scripts

Description: The resistance leader and the straight man (in the dramatic sense!) among the Furkunz.
Finkle always keeps a cool head and treats his duties very seriously. These qualities should be reflected in his voice.

Dialog: dFink

Roger: Could you, er, go over the details of the plan one more time?

[FINK1] Finkle: You need to stop Lewdy.

[FINK2] Finkle: One of our men hiding inside the fortress, an electronics expert.

[FINK3] Finkle: He's been in there for a while, figuring out how to activate the self-destruct mechanism.

[FINK4] Finkle: He left for his last trip this morning and said he was very likely to blow up the place today.

[FINK5] Finkle: You need to stop him, and fast.

Roger: Well, I suppose I could tell him that when I get there.

[FINK6] Finkle: That's not all of it yet...

[FINK7] Finkle: Chances are that by the time you reach him, the sequence will already be in progress.

[FINK8] Finkle: And to disable it in time, he's going to need the fortress plans we've put together.

[FINK9] Finkle: And to make things even worse, the plans have been stolen.

Roger: Stolen, huh? Well, I'd better get there before he sets it off, then.

[FINK10] Finkle: No, we can't take that chance. Lewdy has a way to get out when the sequence is started, but you won't fit through. Blowing up the fortress while you search for the plans is acceptable, but your death isn't.

[FINK11] Finkle: Get to the fortress, give the plans to Lewdy, and defeat Vohaul.

[FINK12] Finkle: Find the plans, get to the fortress, give the plans to Lewdy, and defeat Vohaul.

Roger: Any idea who might've stolen the plans?

[FINK13] Finkle: I'm afraid not.

[FINK14] Finkle: I'm too busy with my work to keep an eye out for anything unusual.

[FINK15] Finkle: The others probably know more, though.

Roger: Do you think this ID could be useful?

[FINK16] Finkle: Yeah, you could probably use this to get in the boot camp!

Roger: Too bad the picture looks nothing like me...

[FINK17] Finkle: Yeah...

[FINK18] Finkle: And you don't really look like an average health inspector...

[FINK19] Finkle: They might get suspicious if you don't have any equipment.

Roger: Do you think this clipboard might be useful?

[FINK20] Finkle: Hmm... it sure does make you look more like a health inspector.

[FINK21] Finkle: Nice find!

Roger: Pardon me, would you have any grey poupon?

[FINK22] Finkle: Nope, we've been running low ever since the apemen cut off our supply routes.

[FINK23] Finkle: Great! Now get to the fortress and stop Lewdy!

[FINK24] Finkle: Good luck!

307 - Caves - Furkunz Hall

[FINK56] Finkle: We're terribly sorry, Mister Wilco, we had no idea it was you.

Odster: Yes, we thought you were one of those pesky apemen.

Odster: Well, it's just your horrid posture, your tendency to slouch, your...

[FINK57] Finkle: As soon as we recognized you...

[FINK58] Finkle: ...once again, we are terribly sorry...

Odster: We need to protect ourselves from the apemen and we accidentally attacked you...

Gofty: Please accept our apologies, Mister Wilco...

Roger: Uh, yeah... sure... but who are you?

[FINK59] Finkle: Ah, sorry about that... we are the Furkunz.

Gofty: Let us help you to the bar, then we'll explain it all.

308 - Caves - Furkunz Bar

Bartender: Fresh ice water, on the house.

[FINK60] Finkle: We are the Furkunz...

[FINK61] Finkle: Shut up.

[FINK62] Finkle: My name is Finkle, and this here is...

[FINK63] Finkle: Anyway, Mister Wilco...

[FINK64] Finkle: How do we know your name? But you're famous!

Odster: You are the only man who has ever been able to defeat Vohaul and the apemen!

Odster: He doesn't trust any simians, as he calls you.

Gofty: But other than that, he's a nice fella.

Odster: Just last night, we were playing caveball with him, that was fun.

Gofty: Heh heh heh, yeah, after the third kickoff when Odster snatched his--

[FINK65] Finkle: Will you two let me speak?

[FINK66] Finkle: We are on the same side as you are, Mister Wilco.

[FINK67] Finkle: We have a common enemy. Vohaul and the apes have been oppressing us for quite a while.

Gofty: We used to live up on the surface.

Gofty: But then one day the apemen came along and acted as if the planet was their property.

[FINK68] Finkle: They drove us off the surface and destroyed our village.

[FINK69] Finkle: We had nowhere else to go than down here, where they couldn't find us.

Odster: But we hate it in here. Apart from caveball, there's nothing to do.

Gofty: Although caveball IS quite fun. Especially when we play against the mayor.

Odster: Like that time he fumbled the double nelson during the far push and--

[FINK70] Finkle: Will you stop blabbering about this?

[FINK71] Finkle: Anyway, we still haven't given up the hope to eventually claim back our spot on the surface.

[FINK72] Finkle: I'm the leader of the resistance and there is a big favor we'd like to ask you.

[FINK73] Finkle: However, I assume you would like some rest for now.

[FINK74] Finkle: Feel free to take a look around and talk to me again if you're interested in cooperation.

609 - Moon - Hallway

[FINK75] Finkle: Well, I guess that's all of them.

Roger: Who'd have thought a small army of furry critters could take down an evil empire in less than an hour?

Mayor Nurb: Well, Roger, my boy, I guess I was mistaken about you.

Mayor Nurb: The Furkunz people, along with the entire galaxy, owe you their thanks.

Mayor Nurb: You and your wife have earned our eternal gratitude.

Beatrice: Oh, no. We're not married... yet.

Mayor Nurb: I see. Well, Roger, what are you waiting for?

Roger: Hey, did you guys get around to catching Vohaul?

[FINK76] Finkle: Hmm, come to think of it... where is that slimey scumbag?

Roger: Well, Beatrice, looks like we've got one more loose end to tie up.

[FINK77] Finkle: Oops - guess he forgot to take off his headband.

[FINK78] Finkle: Nah, he's fine.

[FINK79] Finkle: What are you doing?

[FINK80] Finkle: Those are our prisoners. If you untie them, they're gonna kill us.

Roger: Whoops! Boy, that would've been embarassing.

Roger: Boy are you guys stupid. Not only did you let yourselves get captured by a horde of two foot teddy bears, but you have no idea how many times I snuck past you dressed up in a cardboard box.

Roger: Seriously, you thought I was a robot and everything. Oh, and that pie I gave you? I put that between my buttcheeks. That's right, you ate buttcheek pie.

[FINK81] Finkle: They can't hear you. We pumped them full of morphine to stop them from squirming.

Roger: Oh. But they did get that bit about buttcheek pie, right?

Roger: We're not going out for lunch together anytime soon, are we?

Narrator: This is definitely one of the more awkward click events.

[FINK82] Finkle: Hey, don't cut them free!

Mayor Nurb: Or was he going to stab them?

Beatrice: Don't ask me. I can't tell what's going through Roger's head when he starts waving things around.

611 - Moon - Base Map

Random Apeman: Hey! What's going on here?

Random Apeman: Look out! He's got a shovel!

[FINK83] Finkle: FOR FREEDOM!!!

Random Apeman: Holy crap! They're everywhere!

Random Apeman: We need back-up! Repeat! We need back-up!

Random Apeman: They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the freakin' walls!

Random Apeman: It's game over, man! Game over!

Random Apeman: Oh no, they summoned pterodactyls somehow!

[FINK84] Finkle: Look out, there's a giant squid with machine guns!

Gofty: This is almost better than a third kick-off!

[FINK85] Finkle: Come on, let's keep moving! We got 'em on the run!

620 - Moon - Mines - Entrance

[FINK86] Finkle: And heave!

[FINK87] Finkle: HEAVE!!!

[FINK88] Finkle: Good! Now spread out! We're taking over this joint!

621 - Moon - Mines - Mining Floor

[FINK89] Finkle: Huh...? What's going on?

[FINK90] Finkle: Roger? Last thing I remember was running through the cave, then feeling a dart in my leg.

[FINK91] Finkle: Then everything started to get colorful. It was nice.

Roger: We're on the moon right now. Vohaul's been using some kind of mind control on you guys.

[FINK92] Finkle: Oh, has he now? Well, he just made a big mistake bringing us all up here.

[FINK93] Finkle: Furkunz! The ape people think they can take whatever they want! That no one can stop them!

[FINK94] Finkle: Well, grab the nearest weapons you can find because we're gonna send them a message: that this is our moon!

701 - Moon - Vohaul's Lair

Beatrice: Does it usually take this long?

Ape Scientist: Don't know. Never did this before.

[FINK95] Finkle: I think he's waking up!

[FINK96] Finkle: He made it! The Narrator owes us fifty bucks!

Roger: The Narra - Oh, THERE you are! Thanks for leaving me hanging back there!

Narrator: Hey, buddy! Glad to see you back in one piece! I knew you could do it!

Vohaul: Man... I just had the craziest dream.

Vohaul: You were there... and you... weren't there. Neither were you.

Ape Scientist: Tell me, Lord Vohaul, how do you feel?

Vohaul: I feel... a lot better now. Like a whole lot of weight's gone! I feel... I feel great!

Roger: And you don't remember being an evil psychosadistic dictator who cruelly enslaved cute furry animals, tried to blow up the universe with a moon bomb, and spent years of your life trying to plot my demise?

Vohaul: Pretty much. I'm still a bit miffed about that asteroid deal in Space Quest 2, but...

Ape Scientist: Hurray! We have our old Vohaul back!

Vohaul: That you do, and I have a lot to answer for.

Vohaul: I guess all the Furkunz will be after my head now, won't they?

[FINK97] Finkle: You better believe it.

Beatrice: And we can't keep these apes locked up forever. They're gonna want revenge on the Furkunz.

Vohaul: This is all my fault. It's time to make peace between the Furkunz and the Apes.

Vohaul: And I'm gonna do it the only way I know how.

Vohaul: Something I should've done a long time ago...

806 - Paragon Outro - Hilltop

Roger: I can't believe you actually converted half the planet's surface into a giant ski resort.

Vohaul: It was the only way to bring everyone together.

[FINK98] Finkle: And now peace has been restored between the peoples of the planet.

Roger: Yeah, but we're talking about the enslavement of an entire race.

Roger: A month ago, everybody was ready to kill each other! If anything, this is the single most unlikely thing to ever happen!

Vohaul: What can I say? Everyone loves skiing.

Roger: Well, Vohaul, I'm impressed. You really pulled through for everyone.

Roger: Like whatever happened to Never Kenezer?

[FINK99] Finkle: Well, I'm gonna leave you guys alone.

[FINK100] Finkle: Vohaul, don't forget that thing we got, right?

Roger: So this is how it ends? To never match wits again with my arch-nemesis?

Vohaul: I wouldn't say that. I mean, I'm only one digital copy of the original Vohaul.

Vohaul: I'm pretty sure there's dozens of other copies scattered all over the galaxy in bootleg software, waiting to be uploaded into a supercomputer somewhere that you can fight.

Vohaul: Ehhh, don't worry about it. If another version of me ever tries to give you trouble, you know I got your back.

Roger: I guess underneath all that hardware and scary blue scaley skin, you really are a nice guy after all, Vohaul.

Vohaul: And I have you to thank for that, Wilco.

Vohaul: Any other schmoe would've left me for dead, but of all people, it was the guy who killed me that saved me in the end.

Roger: You don't owe me anything. It's all in the line of duty for a day-to-day space hero.

Vohaul: So, how about you and Beatrice? Why haven't you popped the question yet?

Roger: I've been wondering that myself lately.

Roger: I guess I've been so worried about what could go wrong, I forgot about all the things that could go right.

Roger: I think saving your life has given me a new perspective on things.

Roger: A month ago, I was this close to leaving you for dead, just because I didn't want to take the risk.

Roger: But at the last moment, something clicked.

Vohaul: The future holds all kinds of surprises, doesn't it?

Roger: Yeah, and I'd be a real idiot to miss a moment of it.

Vohaul: So I guess you'll start shopping around for a wedding ring soon?

Roger: Holy cow! Look at the size of that rock!

Vohaul: Pure detonite crystal. Fully refined, but I wouldn't put it near any open flames right away.

Vohaul: So what are you waiting for? Go tell that girl what's in your heart!

Vohaul: Are you gonna do it, or am I gonna have to strike back?

809 - Paragon Outro - Wedding

[FINK101] Finkle: Right on cue!

Vohaul: Well, well, well - look at that. You could almost swear there was a wedding going on. Of course, who could possibly be getting married?

[FINK102] Finkle: Yeah, seriously. Come on. That whole thing with the skis and ramp wasn't exactly easy to set up.

Roger: Beatrice, I'm sorry I kept holding off on this.

Roger: We had such a good thing going and I was afraid everything was going to change once we were married.

Roger: We'd become different people, and eventually drift apart. Maybe not even love each other anymore.

Roger: Let me finish. What I figured out is that people always change, and often, it's for the better.

Roger: So no matter how things change between us in the future, I'll do whatever it takes to fall in love with you all over again.

Furkunz Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss... yeah, whatever.

Global Script

[FINK25] Finkle: Easy, boy. This army isn't THAT friendly.

Roger: Hey, let's talk about that task you had for me.

[FINK26] Finkle: All right, here's the deal.

[FINK27] Finkle: Vohaul's got tons of apemen at our doorstep, right outside our cave. If we don't clear out that boot camp and fortress, we'll have trouble on our hands soon.

[FINK28] Finkle: So far our prime objective has been activating the self-destruct mechanism at the fortress, as we haven't got the power to oppose them in any other ways.

[FINK29] Finkle: But needless to say, it's a very messy solution, and many innocent apemen will die.

[FINK30] Finkle: Yes. They only follow their orders because of fear.

[FINK31] Finkle: ...and, well, stupidity.

[FINK32] Finkle: But they're not evil by nature.

[FINK33] Finkle: All evidence suggests that the apemen would stop the fight as soon as Vohaul is overthrown, just like they did the last time you defeated him.

[FINK34] Finkle: And now, thanks to you, we have an alternative.

Roger: Sure, I was going to do that anyway.

[FINK35] Finkle: Yes... but there's more.

[FINK1] Finkle: You need to stop Lewdy. (Duplicate)

[FINK2] Finkle: One of our men hiding inside the fortress, an electronics expert. (Duplicate)

[FINK3] Finkle: He's been in there for a while, figuring out how to activate the self-destruct mechanism. (Duplicate)

[FINK36] Finkle: He left for his last trip this morning and said he was going to blow up the place today.

[FINK5] Finkle: You need to stop him, and fast. (Duplicate)

Roger: Well, I suppose I could tell him that when I get there.

[FINK6] Finkle: That's not all of it yet... (Duplicate)

[FINK37] Finkle: ...chances are that by the time you reach him, the sequence will already be in progress.

[FINK8] Finkle: And to disable it in time, he's going to need the fortress plans we've put together. (Duplicate)

[FINK9] Finkle: And to make things even worse, the plans have been stolen. (Duplicate)

Roger: Well, I'd better get there before he sets it off, then.

[FINK38] Finkle: No, we can't take that chance.

[FINK39] Finkle: Lewdy has a way to get out when the sequence is started, but you won't fit through.

[FINK40] Finkle: Blowing up the fortress while you search for the plans is acceptable, but your death isn't.

Roger: ...wait a minute... while I search for the plans?

[FINK41] Finkle: Uhh...

[FINK42] Finkle: Well, it seemed like the kind of thing you would do...

Roger: Fine, fine, I'll see what I can do.

[FINK43] Finkle: Good. Let me know if you find them.

[FINK44] Finkle: ...Oh, and one more thing. Our toilet's a little clogged up, and a man with your plungering skills surely...

[FINK45] Finkle: Right... We'll take care of that one.

[FINK46] Finkle: We've looked everywhere. I mean, everywhere except that big tower in the middle of the fortress, but there's no way to get through that gigantic door.

[FINK47] Finkle: I'm just gonna spit it out: yes, I think he's in there. It's pretty obvious at this point.

Roger: Do you think this piece of viewshield glass might be useful?

[FINK48] Finkle: Let me see that...

[FINK49] Finkle: Whoa! Is this Quintuple-Thick Hyperglazed Safety Glass?

[FINK50] Finkle: Holy cow, this is EXACTLY what we've been looking for!

[FINK51] Finkle: Its unique chemical composition allows us to construct the missing part for our superweapon that's sure to bring Vohaul and the apemen to their knees!

Roger: Hmm, actually I think it's just Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass.

[FINK52] Finkle: ...oh.

[FINK53] Finkle: Well then it's pretty much useless.

Roger: It's getting close to the end of the game and I still haven't used this highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass on anything yet.

[FINK54] Finkle: Maybe you can use it to defeat Vohaul.

[FINK23] Finkle: Great! Now get to the fortress and stop Lewdy! (Duplicate)

Script for Finkle