Script for Dweeble

Description: Runs the weapons shop on Radon's moon.
Despite his lack of fingers, he is obsessed with all sorts of weaponry, and while he is not hostile towards Roger, he has a somewhat grumpy disposition.
Probably sounds like a drill sergeant - and do note the cigar in his mouth.

Dialog: dDweeble1

Roger: Where did you get all these weapons?
[DWEE1] Dweeble: Military surplus! Once the apes get new weapons, they discard all the old ones in craters, leaving me to forage.
[DWEE2] Dweeble: I have enough firepower in here to kickstart a blackhole, and I love it!

Roger: Do you get much business?
[DWEE3] Dweeble: Ever since those blasted apes moved in next door, I haven't had a single customer!
Roger: Don't you get all your merchandise from them?
[DWEE4] Dweeble: It's a vicious cycle, my friend. A vicious cycle.

Roger: I need guns. Lots of them.
[DWEE5] Dweeble: Well, we just got in a whole new shipment of atomic railguns. They used these to gun down warships from across the galaxy back in the battle of Cheesus 7.
Roger: That sounds good...
[DWEE6] Dweeble: We've also got a Star Generator sitting around in the back. Its targeting is a bit off, but if you're aiming it at something big, this is the weapon to have.
Roger: Anything liftable, perhaps?
[DWEE7] Dweeble: Ah, yes. Your old standard millimeter weapons. Got these nice babies for 25 'zoids a piece.
Roger: I'm a bit strapped for cash...
[DWEE8] Dweeble: How much do you have?
Roger: I've got a bucket.
[DWEE9] Dweeble: Have a good day, maggot.

Roger: How do you fire guns without any fingers?
[DWEE10] Dweeble: With perfect aim! That's how!

Roger: What's with that big cat out by the moon base entrance?
[DWEE11] Dweeble: What? You ain't never seen a Moon Cat before?
Roger: No, I've never seen a Moon Cat before.
[DWEE12] Dweeble: The moon used to be covered in 'em. Real pests they were, until the monkeys vaporized all but one and put him up to guard their moonbase.
Roger: Are Moon Cats dangerous?
[DWEE13] Dweeble: Well, aside from their size, claws, and teeth, they also shoot lasers out of their eyes.
Roger: I see.

Roger: Tell me again about detonite.
[DWEE14] Dweeble: It's the ultimate in mineral-based warfare. In raw form, tiny amounts of it can tear apart a battlefield in seconds, while large amounts can wipe out entire galaxies!
[DWEE15] Dweeble: But when refined, it can be used as a shield against explosions and deadly energy attacks!
Roger: So can refined detonite be used to contain a raw detonite explosion?
[DWEE16] Dweeble: If anybody's ever field-tested it, we ain't heard back from them.

Roger: Any tips for now that I'm inside the base?
[DWEE17] Dweeble: Yes! Deception is the key to outsmarting your enemy!
[DWEE18] Dweeble: Plant decoys! Wear disguises! Pull that same stealth-like ingenuity you did with the grenade back there!
[DWEE19] Dweeble: And if you need to squeeze information out of your enemy, don't be afraid to use a little force!
[DWEE20] Dweeble: It's do or die out on the battlefield, soldier! Now go out and make Dweeble proud!

Roger: Requesting permission to leave, sir!
[DWEE21] Dweeble: Dismissed, private!

Dialog: dDweeble2

Roger: Let's talk weapons.
[DWEE22] Dweeble: Oh, yeah, about that...
Roger: What?
[DWEE23] Dweeble: We can't really fire any guns around the moonbase, Vohaul had the apes install gunfire detectors all around the place and wired them to my shop. Any one of them goes off and my entire life is blown to smithereens!
Roger: So... we've got a whole arsenal here that we can't make any use of?
[DWEE24] Dweeble: Pretty much.
Roger: But don't you have any stuff that wouldn't set off the detectors?

Roger: How do we get past the cat?
[DWEE25] Dweeble: Good question. We're gonna have to knock him out. A small explosion might work, but our main concern are those laser eyes of his. We're gonna need a diversion if we're to get close.
[DWEE26] Dweeble: I wish I had some detonite. That could come in handy...
Roger: Detonite? That explosive stuff?
[DWEE27] Dweeble: Oh, I mean refined detonite. Much more stable than the raw stuff, but still absorbs any sort of energy directed at it. A single crystal would protect us from those lasers.
Roger: Where do I find one of these crystals?
[DWEE28] Dweeble: Inside the moonbase.
Roger: How do I get inside the moonbase?
[DWEE29] Dweeble: You'll have to get past the cat.
Roger: And how do I... oh.

Roger: Couldn't we use this piece of glass to reflect the laser beams back at him?
[DWEE30] Dweeble: Hmm... considering the strength of those lasers, the glass would have to be at least about Quindecuple-Thick. How much is this?
Roger: Octuple.
[DWEE31] Dweeble: Then you'll just be burning your hands off.
[DWEE32] Dweeble: Hey, listen, don't worry too much about the lasers. I've got a plan, so leave them to me. You just think of a way to take that kitty down.

Roger: Do you know how to get into the moonbase?
[DWEE33] Dweeble: If you get rid of the cat, try the front door or look for a side entrance. I don't know much else about that place.

[DWEE34] Dweeble: We are?

[DWEE35] Dweeble: You go on ahead - I'll catch up!

604 - Moon - Dweeble's Shop - Dweeble Close-up

[DWEE36] Dweeble: Dweeble's the name! Sergeant Dweeble to you, maggot! What'll ya have?

[DWEE37] Dweeble: You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were about to wage war on the monkeys.
Roger: Vohaul kidnapped my girl. He's gonna pay.
[DWEE38] Dweeble: I wouldn't mind helping you out. That guy's been a pain in my tail for months now and I'm not gonna take it anymore!
Roger: So you'll help me get past the cat?
[DWEE39] Dweeble: You better believe it! I'm ready for a good fight!

[DWEE40] Dweeble: What, you mean like... weapons that aren't ridiculously powerful?
Roger: Well, yes!
[DWEE41] Dweeble: Huh. Never really thought of that. Let me see...
Roger: What's this?
[DWEE42] Dweeble: A stealth sleep charge. Real clean and quiet, you can even put people to sleep without waking anyone else up.
Roger: Is it any good against the cat?
[DWEE43] Dweeble: Well... not really, no. Even a human would pretty much have to swallow it for it to work. At best, it annoys rats.
Roger: We're gonna need something stronger than that.
[DWEE44] Dweeble: Hmm... I guess regular stun grenades wouldn't set them off either. Here, take one.

[DWEE45] Dweeble: Just the stuff I gave ya!

605 - Moon - Giant Cat

[DWEE46] Dweeble: Here I come, ready or not!

[DWEE47] Dweeble: Here, kitty, kitty, kitty! Ha! You couldn't catch a dead mouse!
Roger: Dweeble?! What are you doing?!
[DWEE48] Dweeble: I'm using the old mouse-on-a-pogo-stick maneuver! Now quick! Hit him while he's distracted!

Roger: We did it, Sergeant Dweeble!
[DWEE49] Dweeble: Now we can go get some ice cream!
Roger: Hey, wait! Where are you going? Oh, never mind. I'll defeat Vohaul myself.

[DWEE50] Dweeble: Retreat!!!