Script for Ted

Description: One of the apes in the console room. Their voices may be a little different to distinguish them from the other apes.

512 - Fortress - Console

Vohaul: Attention! Wilco's ship just popped up on the radar!
Vohaul: Shut down the automatic defenses immediately!
Vohaul: I want him ALIVE!
[CON11] Ted: Alright, you heard the boss - time to shut down them missiles!
Norm: Um... how do I do that?
Comment: The latter half is a SQ5 reference
[CON12] Ted: Oh, that's easy. You just adjust the monolever 85 degrees to the left and reverse the phase polarity on the interface grid.
Norm: Gotcha!
Norm: Wait... wasn't that the procedure for making a fat-free latté?
[CON13] Ted: Oh yeah. I think you're right.
Norm: ...would you like a cup?
[CON14] Ted: Hmm... okay!
Norm: What was that?
[CON15] Ted: I believe that was the missile we were supposed to disable.
Norm: Whoops.

Comment: Bit of a Top Gear reference
Norm: Ohhh... that's not gone well.
[CON16] Ted: That's not gone well at all.

Norm: Ted... I just felt a great disturbance in the Force.
[CON17] Ted: Yeah?
Norm: It was as if...
Norm: if thousands of snowflakes suddenly cried out in terror...
Norm: ...and were suddenly silenced.
[CON18] Ted: You should really cut down on the sugar, Norm.
Norm: Yeah...
Norm: ...but we both know I'm not gonna.
[CON19] Ted: ...hooray for donuts!
Norm: Yay!

Never Kenezer: Hey, you two!
[CON110] Ted: Crap! They found out!
Never Kenezer: Relax. Vohaul doesn't know you botched the defense shutdown.
Never Kenezer: I managed to convince him it was just a malfunction.
Never Kenezer: But if you want to keep it that way, you'll do exactly as I say.
Norm: Uhhh... okay.
Never Kenezer: The boss is so obsessed with his revenge on Wilco that he can't think straight.
Never Kenezer: He's about to order everyone to stand down and let that janitor go wherever he pleases.
[CON111] Ted: That's... unusual.
Never Kenezer: It's an unnecessary security risk, that's what it is.
Never Kenezer: So what you're gonna do is intercept the command and change it, without Vohaul finding out. Can you do that?
Norm: I... think we can. What should it say?
Never Kenezer: "Shoot Wilco on sight."
Norm: *gulp*
Norm: ...okay. We'll do it.
Never Kenezer: Good, good. I'll leave you to it, then.