Script for Chris

Description: Will be voiced by himself.

Dialog: dChrisA

Roger: So what are you doing?
[CHRI1] Chris: I'm co-writing, co-directing, co-programming, co-sound designing, 3D modeling, animating, compositing, beta-testing and creating characters.
[CHRI2] Chris: On top of that, I'm also doing all that and more for my own full-length Space Quest game on the side which should be released shortly after this one. 'Incinerations' - look it up.
[CHRI3] Chris: And on top of that, I'm lead animating and doing voices for 'The Silver Lining.'
[CHRI4] Chris: And on top of on top of that, I'm creating a mini web-series about Scrooge McDuck and his nephews in a nihilistic parallel reality Duckburg where everybody eats ice cream, is drawn in MS Paint, and mingles with Dragonball Z characters.
[CHRI5] Chris: And on top of on top of on top of that, I'm attending film school right now to get diplomas in Visual Effects and Animation.
[CHRI6] Chris: Also, I'm writing my second novel and blogging about movies.

Roger: So tell me about 'Incinerations.'
[CHRI7] Chris: Ever wonder what Space Quest would be like if it were a Michael Bay movie?
Roger: I have nightmares about it, yes.
[CHRI8] Chris: Then you're in for a treat.

Roger: Okay, character artist. Do some fancy character art on me.
[CHRI9] Chris: I don't wanna.
Roger: Come onnnnnn...
[CHRI10] Chris: Maybe tomorrow.
Roger: I don't think you can draw at all.
Roger: I think you just trace over other people's work.
[CHRI11] Chris: Meh. Sometimes.
Roger: Then come on - hit me with everything you got.
[CHRI12] Chris: Hmmm... okay!

Roger: Marty's backgrounds look better than your sprites.
[CHRI13] Chris: Yeah, I know.
Roger: So are you going to re-draw everything for the next version?
[CHRI14] Chris: Nope.
Roger: What, no fancy 3D upgrades from your fancy film school?
[CHRI15] Chris: Nope. Everything's final.
Roger: Okay then!
[CHRI16] Chris: Indeed!

Dialog: dChrisB

Roger: So why aren't you doing anything?
[CHRI17] Chris: I did it all yesterday.

[CHRI18] Chris: I avoid reality television, Facebook games, and MMORPGs.
Roger: Hmmm. That makes sense.
[CHRI19] Chris: Being a jobless bum also helps.

Roger: I hate you so much.
[CHRI20] Chris: I get that a lot.

Roger: Do you think you're better than me?
[CHRI21] Chris: I think everyone's better than you.
Roger: I guess that's fair.

Dialog: dFrede

Roger: So what's your job on the team?
Frederik: Oh, hey! I came up with the original idea for the game and used to be the teamlead. Then I stepped down and eventually ended up as music supervisor and composer.
Roger: You mean it was your idea to resurrect my arch-nemesis as a robot and have him kidnap my pregnant girlfriend?
Frederik: That was me, yeah.
Roger: And then you thought I might enjoy some really annoying music to go along with that?
Frederik: Well, I didn't do *all* of the music, but pretty much, yeah.
Frederik: I guess you could say my MIDI-chlorian count is pretty high!
Narrator: Oh, dear.
[CHRI22] Chris: Ugh, did he just say that?
mjomble: I think that one made me go deaf.
pcj: We're totally not letting you out now.
Roger: That totally sucked.
Frederik: Heh. Sorry!

Roger: You must have some pretty cool stories from the early days, huh?
Frederik: Not really. I can tell you, you were once supposed to battle Captain Quirk, lick ice walls, wear sandals and blow up toilets.
[CHRI23] Chris: There was also an amusement park in the fortress!
mjomble: And a zoo on the moon!
pcj: And in the original ending, Vohaul became your maid!
Frederik: Fortunately, the musical number got scrapped.
Roger: Uh...
Frederik: I know, right?

599 - Fortress - Team Cameo Room

Roger: Whoa, momma! I got bazooms!
pcj: Hmmm. That's not it. I'll get that fixed in a second.
Roger: Hey, no hurry! I could get used to looking like this!
Roger: Although now I feel guilty about the way I've been treating Beatrice.
Roger: All she wanted was to share her life with me, and I've been an insensitive jerk.
Roger: I ignore her feelings, I take her for granted, I tape over her shows, I don't wear that deodorant she bought me...
Roger: I'm lucky to have that woman in my life, and the next time I see her, I'm going to get down on one knee and...
pcj: There we go!
Roger: Was I just saying something?
pcj: Probably wasn't important.
[CHRI24] Chris: I tuned most of it out.
mjomble: I was just staring at your boobs.
Roger: But you were facing the other way.
mjomble: You underestimate me.

[CHRI25] Chris: Don't touch me.

Roger: Check this out...
[CHRI26] Chris: Quadro-Reflective Pseudo-Thick Morphic-blah-blah-blah? Yes, I'm very familiar with it.
[CHRI27] Chris: In fact, one of my jobs involved making sure you show it to everyone.
mjomble: And my job is to remind you how to spell it.
Roger: But why?
[CHRI28] Chris: I don't know. I really don't know.
[CHRI29] Chris: But hey - keep showing it to everyone. We'll try to come up with a pay-off by the end.

[CHRI30] Chris: Don't want it.

Narrator: Sorry, but nobody touches this apart from Patrick.
[CHRI31] Chris: Yeah, we drew straws last week.

Roger: Hey, I just spotted a plot inconsistency in the game.
Roger: When I go into the sewers, I travel four screens just to move to another manhole that's three feet away.
Roger: I know it's supposed to be a joke, but some people might think it's a glitch.
Roger: Can we have a new cutscene where Rodney and Ned are talking about how the sewers are U-shaped? Just so it makes more logical sense?
[CHRI32] Chris: No. It's fine. Leave it.
Roger: And I think some of the sound effects are out of sync by a frame or two. Can you do a clean-up of that?
[CHRI33] Chris: NO. LEAVE IT.
Roger: And there's some black pixels around the sprites sometimes. Can you get rid of those?
[CHRI34] Chris: I will hurt you.
Roger: Also, I think this game needs a scene where Queen Valanice is crying. Can you animate something like that?
[CHRI35] Chris: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!
Roger: On second thought... it's fine. Leave it.