Script for Smart Bird Head

Description: One of Never Kenezer's experiments: a bird with a smart head, and a dumb head.
The smart head is loyal to its master and thus doesn't like Roger.
Should probably speak with a dignified Oxford-ish accent.

Dialog: dBirdSmart

Roger: Who controls what on you guys?
[BIRD101] Smart Bird Head: I am in control of the wings, whilst my brother has full run of our legs.
Roger: What about all the stuff inside?
[BIRD102] Smart Bird Head: I am afraid that at this time I have not yet managed to fully determine my share in our array of internal organic processes, so for the time being you could call it a group effort.
Dumb Bird Head: I make the poopies!
[BIRD103] Smart Bird Head: Sigh...

Roger: Bye-bye, birdie!
[BIRD104] Smart Bird Head: Yes - as if we do not hear THAT a million times a day!

619 - Moon - Never's Lab - Bird Close-up

Roger: Well, hey there, little... guys! Pollies wanna cracker?
[BIRD107] Smart Bird Head: I assure you that neither of our names is Polly and that we most assuredly do NOT want any crackers, thank you very much.
Roger: Wow, you can talk!
[BIRD108] Smart Bird Head: Of course we can engage in casual conversation. Our master, Lord Kenezer, is a brilliant tutor in the linguistic arts.
Dumb Bird Head: Linguini?
[BIRD109] Smart Bird Head: No, you cotton-headed buffoon - linguistic! As in pertaining to language.
Dumb Bird Head: Duuuhhh... I like spaghetti.
[BIRD110] Smart Bird Head: I beg your pardon for my less-than-adequate brother, sir. It would appear the distribution of our brain cells was not exactly homologous, if you know what I mean.
Roger: ...huh?
[BIRD111] Smart Bird Head: Oh dear... now there's two of you!

Roger: Hi! Tell me everything you know!
Dumb Bird Head: Hello!
[BIRD112] Smart Bird Head: Quiet! Nobody told you to talk!
Roger: I did!
[BIRD113] Smart Bird Head: I stand by my statement.

[BIRD114] Smart Bird Head: What is your business with our Lord and Master?
Roger: Uhh... casual visit. Just wanted to chat.
[BIRD115] Smart Bird Head: Then I must inform you that he is currently too busy in his affairs to attend to such a wasteful activity.
Dumb Bird Head: D'uuuuhh... no, he's not! He's...
[BIRD116] Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you!
[BIRD117] Smart Bird Head: I am sorry, but we are not permitted to expose any such information to you at this juncture.

[BIRD118] Smart Bird Head: I believe the location of his personal belongings is none of your business, my good sir.
Dumb Bird Head: Wha? What's going on?
[BIRD119] Smart Bird Head: This man is looking for Lord Kenezer's keyset.
Dumb Bird Head: Oh! Pretty key! Pretty key is in...
[BIRD116] Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you! (Duplicate)
[BIRD120] Smart Bird Head: Now do you see what you have made me do?
Roger: Gosh, I'm sorry you hit your brother.
[BIRD121] Smart Bird Head: Quite.

[BIRD122] Smart Bird Head: Ha! Judging from your outward appearance, you would not even be able to stand up against a five-year old girl, let alone an impregnable fortress of metal and tissue such as our master.
Dumb Bird Head: Kick him in the...
[BIRD116] Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you! (Duplicate)
Roger: Was he about to say 'nuts?'
[BIRD123] Smart Bird Head: No, he most certainly was not.
Roger: I was kinda hoping for an allergy or irrational fear I could take advantage of.
[BIRD124] Smart Bird Head: You will not find such things upon his person!

Global Script

Dumb Bird Head: D'uuuhhh... bad touch! Bad touch!
[BIRD105] Smart Bird Head: My word! Security! We have a scoundrel! Assist us please! Hurry!

[BIRD105] Smart Bird Head: My word! Security! We have a scoundrel! Assist us please! Hurry! (Duplicate)

[BIRD105] Smart Bird Head: My word! Security! We have a scoundrel! Assist us please! Hurry! (Duplicate)

Roger: Can you tell me what this is?
[BIRD106] Smart Bird Head: Surely, you must be joking. This is a piece of highly reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass. Even my idiot brother could with no effort whatsoever point out something as bluntly obvious as that!