Script for Dumb Bird Head

Description: One of Never Kenezer's experiments: a bird with a smart head, and a dumb head.
The dumb head is fairly chatty, not very loyal to Never and likes Roger.
Should sound a bit like Goofy.

Dialog: dBirdSmart

Roger: Who controls what on you guys?
Smart Bird Head: I am in control of the wings, whilst my brother has full run of our legs.
Roger: What about all the stuff inside?
Smart Bird Head: I am afraid that at this time I have not yet managed to fully determine my share in our array of internal organic processes, so for the time being you could call it a group effort.
[BIRD1] Dumb Bird Head: I make the poopies!
Smart Bird Head: Sigh...

Dialog: dBirdDumb

Roger: Where can I find Never Kenezer?
[BIRD2] Dumb Bird Head: Uhhh... he looking for bees right now.
Roger: He's... he's got bees?!
[BIRD3] Dumb Bird Head: Bees ran away, now he wants to find bees.
Roger: You mean the bees FLEW away?
[BIRD4] Dumb Bird Head: No, they run. They try to be friends with me, but my brother tell Noober where they hiding.
Roger: Hang on... did these 'bees' happen to have long golden hair, a green vest, and deep blue eyes?
[BIRD5] Dumb Bird Head: You know bees?!
Roger: Bea. As in Beatrice.
[BIRD6] Dumb Bird Head: Only one bee? That's big bee.
Roger: I've gotta hurry.

Roger: Do you know where Never keeps his keys?
[BIRD7] Dumb Bird Head: Pretty key in the wall. Noober likes the wall.
Roger: Which wall? Where?
[BIRD8] Dumb Bird Head: Pretty red floor room. Pretty picture of guitar people.
Roger: Can you be more specific?
[BIRD9] Dumb Bird Head: No, I'm not hungry.
Narrator: That's all you're getting out of him, Roger.

Roger: Does Never have any revealing weaknesses I should know about?
[BIRD10] Dumb Bird Head: Kick him in the nuts. He don' like that.
Roger: Anything more feasible I can use? He'd probably kill me before I get any kicks in.
[BIRD11] Dumb Bird Head: He makes elcetriery.
Roger: Electricity?
[BIRD12] Dumb Bird Head: Big lightning! You fall down. Hurt bad.
Roger: Okay... That sounds more like a strength than a weakness. Anything else?
[BIRD13] Dumb Bird Head: Uuuhhhhhh... he hate monkeys.
Roger: But the monkeys hate me.
[BIRD14] Dumb Bird Head: I like you!
Roger: I like you too!
[BIRD15] Dumb Bird Head: I like pie!
Roger: We should hang out sometime.

Roger: Does your brother bug you much?
[BIRD16] Dumb Bird Head: He hit me much. He don't like bugs.
Roger: That's too bad.
[BIRD17] Dumb Bird Head: Sometimes he sleeping, but I pretend he still hitting me.
[BIRD18] Dumb Bird Head: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Roger: You're the coolest bird I know.

Roger: Bye-bye, birdie!
[BIRD19] Dumb Bird Head: Ha ha! That funny! That REAL funny! Birdy!

619 - Moon - Never's Lab - Bird Close-up

Roger: Well, hey there, little... guys! Pollies wanna cracker?
Smart Bird Head: I assure you that neither of our names is Polly and that we most assuredly do NOT want any crackers, thank you very much.
Roger: Wow, you can talk!
Smart Bird Head: Of course we can engage in casual conversation. Our master, Lord Kenezer, is a brilliant tutor in the linguistic arts.
[BIRD25] Dumb Bird Head: Linguini?
Smart Bird Head: No, you cotton-headed buffoon - linguistic! As in pertaining to language.
[BIRD26] Dumb Bird Head: Duuuhhh... I like spaghetti.
Smart Bird Head: I beg your pardon for my less-than-adequate brother, sir. It would appear the distribution of our brain cells was not exactly homologous, if you know what I mean.
Roger: ...huh?
Smart Bird Head: Oh dear... now there's two of you!

Roger: Hi! Tell me everything you know!
[BIRD27] Dumb Bird Head: Hello!
Smart Bird Head: Quiet! Nobody told you to talk!
Roger: I did!
Smart Bird Head: I stand by my statement.

Smart Bird Head: What is your business with our Lord and Master?
Roger: Uhh... casual visit. Just wanted to chat.
Smart Bird Head: Then I must inform you that he is currently too busy in his affairs to attend to such a wasteful activity.
[BIRD28] Dumb Bird Head: D'uuuuhh... no, he's not! He's...
Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you!
Smart Bird Head: I am sorry, but we are not permitted to expose any such information to you at this juncture.

Smart Bird Head: I believe the location of his personal belongings is none of your business, my good sir.
[BIRD29] Dumb Bird Head: Wha? What's going on?
Smart Bird Head: This man is looking for Lord Kenezer's keyset.
[BIRD30] Dumb Bird Head: Oh! Pretty key! Pretty key is in...
Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you!
Smart Bird Head: Now do you see what you have made me do?
Roger: Gosh, I'm sorry you hit your brother.
Smart Bird Head: Quite.

Smart Bird Head: Ha! Judging from your outward appearance, you would not even be able to stand up against a five-year old girl, let alone an impregnable fortress of metal and tissue such as our master.
[BIRD31] Dumb Bird Head: Kick him in the...
Smart Bird Head: Quiet, you!
Roger: Was he about to say 'nuts?'
Smart Bird Head: No, he most certainly was not.
Roger: I was kinda hoping for an allergy or irrational fear I could take advantage of.
Smart Bird Head: You will not find such things upon his person!

Global Script

[BIRD20] Dumb Bird Head: D'uuuhhh... bad touch! Bad touch!
Smart Bird Head: My word! Security! We have a scoundrel! Assist us please! Hurry!

[BIRD21] Dumb Bird Head: Duh-huh-huh! That tickles!

Roger: Can you guess what this is?
[BIRD22] Dumb Bird Head: Uhhh... piece of highly reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass?
Roger: Uh... yeah!
[BIRD23] Dumb Bird Head: Me smart!

[BIRD21] Dumb Bird Head: Duh-huh-huh! That tickles! (Duplicate)

[BIRD24] Dumb Bird Head: D'uh... nighty-night, George!