Script for Rupert
Description: The son of the entrance guard at the boot camp.
Rupert is not an outright pest, but he does like to bother his father with weird questions. So his voice can probably be a bit brat-ish.
Roger: So you're an ape kid, huh? Don't see many of you around.
[APEK1] Rupert: Yeah, daddy says most of us are genetically replicated in Vohaul's labs.
Roger: What does that mean?
[APEK2] Rupert: I don't know, I'm a kid!
Roger: Forget it.
[APEK3] Rupert: Forget what?
Roger: Could I borrow that puzzle of yours?
[APEK4] Rupert: No, I'm playing with it.
Roger: Would you trade it in for...
Roger: This totally cool bucket?
[APEK5] Rupert: No, it's got holes in it.
Roger: This super stealthy lockpick?
[APEK6] Rupert: Dad! This man is trying to sway my young easily-influenced mind to the dark path of crime!
Entrance Guard: What?! That's my job!
Roger: These nifty fortress blueprints?
[APEK7] Rupert: Dad! This man is attempting to smuggle me some top secret documents that he cannot possibly be authorized to possess!
Entrance Guard: Nobody likes a tattle-tale, son!
Roger: This awesome piece of spaceship viewshield glass?
[APEK8] Rupert: Whoa, is that Triple-Thick Nanotube Velcro Glass?
Roger: Nope, just a piece of Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass.
[APEK9] Rupert: Bah, everybody's got one of those.
Roger: Some candy?
[APEK10] Rupert: Ooh, yeah! Gimme!
Roger: Except I don't have candy.
Entrance Guard: Do NOT give him sugar!
[APEK11] Rupert: Awww... but I need my sugar fix!
Roger: My undying friendship?
[APEK12] Rupert: No way. Then I'd have to see you all the time.
Roger: My biggest secret?
[APEK13] Rupert: I bet it's something lame.
Roger: Wow, you're good.
Roger: My soul?
[APEK14] Rupert: Sure! I'm starving!
Roger: On second thought, never mind.
[APEK15] Rupert: Wretched mortal!
Roger: Forget it.
[APEK3] Rupert: Forget what? (Duplicate)
404 - Boot Camp - Center
[APEK16] Rupert: DAD!!!
Entrance Guard: WHAT?!
Roger: Since I gave you that soda, could I borrow that puzzle of yours?
[APEK17] Rupert: It's all sticky now, so... yeah. Okay. But bring it back soon.
Roger: You betcha, kid.
[APEK18] Rupert: Great. Now I'm bored.
[APEK16] Rupert: DAD!!! (Duplicate)
Entrance Guard: What?!
Roger: Hey there, want some Smarm?
[APEK19] Rupert: Sure!
Entrance Guard: Hey, wait...!
[APEK20] Rupert: Ewww!!
Entrance Guard: Great, now your mother will blame me. I knew I shouldn't have brought you to work with me.
Roger: Hey, I brought your puzzle back. It's still sticky.
[APEK21] Rupert: Uh... you can hold onto it.
Roger: Hey, kid. Want a shard of highly-reflective Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass?
[APEK22] Rupert: You're giving a sharp piece of glass to a kid? Are you crazy?!
Roger: Want some pop, kid?
[APEK23] Rupert: Out of an empty bottle? No thanks.
[APEK24] Rupert: Where do babies come from?
Entrance Guard: Go to your room, Rupert.
[APEK25] Rupert: But I don't have a room!
Entrance Guard: Then just stay here!
[APEK26] Rupert: Why are you just standing here?
Entrance Guard: Because daddy got passed over for another promotion.
[APEK27] Rupert: Neat!
[APEK28] Rupert: Can I have some money?
Entrance Guard: Yes, if you can pry it from my cold, dead hands.
[APEK29] Rupert: Really?!
Entrance Guard: No, now just sit down and shut up.
[APEK30] Rupert: Doesn't it bother you that all the people in the universe have sharply conflicting religions?
Entrance Guard: That would be an ecumenical matter.
[APEK31] Rupert: Why don't I have any brothers or sisters?
Entrance Guard: Have you ever heard of chemical castration?
[APEK32] Rupert: Sure! I've got all their albums!
Entrance Guard: Well, there ya go.
[APEK33] Rupert: I have hair growing in really weird places...
Entrance Guard: I certainly hope so.
[APEK34] Rupert: What's the difference between boys and girls?
Entrance Guard: Boys like money and power and girls are the reason why.
[APEK27] Rupert: Neat! (Duplicate)
[APEK35] Rupert: Why does grandpa never visit us anymore?
Entrance Guard: Because grandma moved in.
[APEK36] Rupert: Why must we prolong the oppression of the indigenous species of this land? Should we not strive to coexist in harmony?
Entrance Guard: You kids and your crazy ideas!
[APEK37] Rupert: Doesn't this inspector man look an awful lot like Roger Wilco?
Entrance Guard: No, Roger Wilco doesn't have a moustache.
[APEK38] Rupert: If Vohaul isn't paying us anything, why don't we stage a revolution and abolish this cruel system of slavery?
Entrance Guard: Well, we really like the casual Fridays.
[APEK39] Rupert: But you don't have clothes other than the uniform.
Entrance Guard: It's complicated.