Script for mjomble

Description: Will be voiced by himself.

Dialog: dAndres

Roger: Hi, I'm Roger Wilco.
[ANDR1] mjomble: Hmm, I feel like we're over-using that line. Let's try again.
Roger: Salutations, stranger! Name's Roger, Roger Wilco. Delighted to make your acquaintance!
[ANDR2] mjomble: Nah, that's pushing it. How about this one:
Roger: Bleepidy gork fjuntll'k meep.
[ANDR3] mjomble: Yeah, let's go with that one.

Roger: Stop changing my lines!
[ANDR4] mjomble: But they're not perfect yet!
Roger: Do they need to be?
[ANDR5] mjomble: Maybe!

Roger: So what are you doing?
[ANDR6] mjomble: Rewriting the intro.
Roger: What's wrong with it?
[ANDR7] mjomble: I don't think Fester's motivations are expressed clearly enough.
[ANDR8] mjomble: I'm thinking of giving him a half-hour monologue before we cut to the part where Cliffy breaks the ice cream machine.
Roger: Fester? Cliffy? I don't remember them being in the intro.
[ANDR9] mjomble: Hmm, you must be running an older version of the game. From at least five rewrites ago.
Roger: Oh. What happens in the latest version?
[ANDR10] mjomble: Why do you care? You're not even in it anymore.
Roger: That might actually be a good thing.

Roger: Why do you make me seem so stupid?
[ANDR11] mjomble: A-whuh?
Roger: I know I'm not the smartest guy in the universe, but sometimes you're crossing the line.
[ANDR12] mjomble: No, we're not.
Roger: Yes, you are!
Roger: You're treating me like some kind of a joke, but I'm a real human being! I have feelings!
Roger: What you're doing should be illegal, but you're getting away with it.
Roger: You're taking words out of my mouth and replacing them with the incoherent ramblings of an imbecile!
Roger: Do you have any idea how that feels?
Roger: To have the most important moments of your life ruined beyond all repair just because someone thought it would be funny if you acted like a bumbling fool and screwed up on every step of your life?
Roger: I had the potential! I could have achieved something great! I was a starship captain!
Roger: And then people like you got me demoted to a janitor for a few cheap laughs.
Narrator: End scene.
[ANDR13] mjomble: So, what did you think?
Roger: Meh. You should stick to comedy.
[ANDR14] mjomble: Fair enough.
Narrator: You end the conversation by peeing your pants.
Roger: Durr!

Roger: Are there any obscure references in the game that I may have missed?
[ANDR15] mjomble: Certainly!
[ANDR16] mjomble: Did you know that Ned's race has appeared in Space Quest before?
[ANDR17] mjomble: There was another member of the Phistal Hemisphere Alliance at the Orion Bar in Space Quest 6.
Roger: Huh. I wasn't even paying attention.
[ANDR18] mjomble: I'll bet! And the Ferbangi at the Monolith Burger have also been mentioned before, at the brig on the DeepShip 86.
[ANDR19] mjomble: They haven't made any appearances before, but we just assumed they were based on the Ferengi from Star Trek.
Roger: Wait, I haven't been to a Monolith Burger yet.
[ANDR20] mjomble: Oh, um, crap, err... spoiler alert!
Roger: You're supposed to say that BEFORE you spoil something.
[ANDR21] mjomble: Sorry.

Dialog: dFrede

Roger: So what's your job on the team?
Frederik: Oh, hey! I came up with the original idea for the game and used to be the teamlead. Then I stepped down and eventually ended up as music supervisor and composer.
Roger: You mean it was your idea to resurrect my arch-nemesis as a robot and have him kidnap my pregnant girlfriend?
Frederik: That was me, yeah.
Roger: And then you thought I might enjoy some really annoying music to go along with that?
Frederik: Well, I didn't do *all* of the music, but pretty much, yeah.
Frederik: I guess you could say my MIDI-chlorian count is pretty high!
Narrator: Oh, dear.
Chris: Ugh, did he just say that?
[ANDR22] mjomble: I think that one made me go deaf.
pcj: We're totally not letting you out now.
Roger: That totally sucked.
Frederik: Heh. Sorry!

Roger: You must have some pretty cool stories from the early days, huh?
Frederik: Not really. I can tell you, you were once supposed to battle Captain Quirk, lick ice walls, wear sandals and blow up toilets.
Chris: There was also an amusement park in the fortress!
[ANDR23] mjomble: And a zoo on the moon!
pcj: And in the original ending, Vohaul became your maid!
Frederik: Fortunately, the musical number got scrapped.
Roger: Uh...
Frederik: I know, right?

599 - Fortress - Team Cameo Room

Roger: Whoa, momma! I got bazooms!
pcj: Hmmm. That's not it. I'll get that fixed in a second.
Roger: Hey, no hurry! I could get used to looking like this!
Roger: Although now I feel guilty about the way I've been treating Beatrice.
Roger: All she wanted was to share her life with me, and I've been an insensitive jerk.
Roger: I ignore her feelings, I take her for granted, I tape over her shows, I don't wear that deodorant she bought me...
Roger: I'm lucky to have that woman in my life, and the next time I see her, I'm going to get down on one knee and...
pcj: There we go!
Roger: Was I just saying something?
pcj: Probably wasn't important.
Chris: I tuned most of it out.
[ANDR24] mjomble: I was just staring at your boobs.
Roger: But you were facing the other way.
[ANDR25] mjomble: You underestimate me.

Roger: Check this out...
Chris: Quadro-Reflective Pseudo-Thick Morphic-blah-blah-blah? Yes, I'm very familiar with it.
Chris: In fact, one of my jobs involved making sure you show it to everyone.
[ANDR26] mjomble: And my job is to remind you how to spell it.
Roger: But why?
Chris: I don't know. I really don't know.
Chris: But hey - keep showing it to everyone. We'll try to come up with a pay-off by the end.

Narrator: Don't touch that. You don't know where it's been.
Narrator: Well, give me something better then.
[ANDR28] mjomble: Uhh... I'm drawing a blank.

[ANDR29] mjomble: Ah, the good old Octuple-Thick Pseudo-Morphed Windshield Glass.
[ANDR30] mjomble: Pretty clever reference, eh?
Roger: What?
[ANDR31] mjomble: You know, from Space Quest 6.
Roger: Eh?
[ANDR32] mjomble: You don't remember?
[ANDR33] mjomble: The Quadruple-Thick Plastosteel Windows at the 8-Rear?
Roger: Nope.
[ANDR34] mjomble: The Quintuple-Thick Dynapane Glass at the brig?
Roger: Nope.
[ANDR35] mjomble: And the Quintuple-Thick Hyperglazed Safety Glass on the StarCon shuttles at the shuttlebay?
Roger: Are you making all of this up?
[ANDR36] mjomble: No, seriously. Go back and replay the game, it's all there.
[ANDR37] mjomble: Or Google for the Space Quest Omnipedia and look it up.
[ANDR38] mjomble: I actually started the articles for all three types of glass. Pretty cool, huh?
Roger: Uhh, yeah. Sounds like you have an exciting life.
[ANDR39] mjomble: I know!

[ANDR40] mjomble: Crap, I forgot to write a click event for that.

Roger: Looks like your typical wastebasket.
[ANDR41] mjomble: Nope, those are the VSB archives.
[ANDR42] mjomble: That's where we store everything that didn't make it into the game.

[ANDR43] mjomble: Don't touch the tea!
Roger: Oh, it's yours?
[ANDR44] mjomble: Yeah, that guard at the boot camp brewed me some special pick-me-up. Good stuff!